A – Auburn. The rollercoaster ride to a National Championship continues for Auburn amidst near losses, comeback wins and Cam Newton allegations. One thing is sure though, that American loves watching. Newton is the first player in college football history to garner breaking news just by being ruled eligible. Auburn’s 24-point rally against Alabama in the Iron Bowl garnered the highest rating for a college football game this season. During the game a quick-thinking Alabama employee decided to play the Steve Miller Band’s, “Take the Money and Run,” a clear reference to allegations about Newton accepting money.
B – Black Eyed Peas. Super Bowl XLV is about to get Fergalicious. The four-person group will perform Feb. 6 at Cowboys Stadium at halftime of the Super Bowl. Fergie and the rest of her band mates should be a little bit of an upgrade in the eye candy department compared to previous shows. This will also be the first show that spectators will hope for a wardrobe malfunction since the famous Janet Jackson nipple debacle. The last six Super Bowl halftime shows have featured such wrinkled rock veterans as Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Prince, Tom Petty, Bruce Springsteen and The Who.
C – Cleveland. The long awaited return of LeBron James to Cleveland nearly never got off the ground as the Miami Heat experienced plane troubles on their way to Cleveland. This comes on the heels of the Heat adding extra security for the Heat, especially James. The atmosphere at Quicken Loans Arena in Cleveland is expected to be one of the most hostile in professional sports history. Miami is a five-point favorite. There was also a prop bet on Bodog asking whether or not there will be a physical confrontation between James and a fan. The odds of a physical altercation was 30/1, but Bodog realized that a drunken fan could actually make a profit off of throwing a beer at James and they decided to pull the prop.
D – Diaz, Cameron. Diaz and New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez are on a two-strike count. The couple is giving their relationship a third attempt, apparently, after the two were spotted together in Miami recently. In October reports said they were separated because Rodriguez “didn’t like her anymore,” but it looks like it’s on again between Diaz and ARod, at least for this month.
E – Everyone. Now the LPGA is for everyone. No longer is being born a female a requirement for admittance into the LPGA. The association will now begin accepting females and transgender females into its ranks.
F – Four Loko. The controversial flavored malt liquor infused with caffeine has been a major target of angry parents, and now college administrators as the popular drink with a cult-like following has reached college campuses and college football tailgates. Four Loko seemed to be created for college football Saturdays as hungover co-eds need a quick wakeup for noon football games and something to help sustain their alertness and buzz throughout the day. Phusion Projects, the creator of Four Loko, has promised to take the caffeine out of the drink amidst political pressure, making the last remaining Four Loko’s with caffeine a collector’s item on college campuses.
G – Gene Chizik. A berth in the National Championship is on the line for Auburn this week in the SEC Championship Game, but for Auburn Head Coach Gene Chizik, even more is on the line. A win against South Carolina on Saturday would earn Chizik a $200,000 bonus and if they win the National Championship Chizik would be in line for $500,000 more.
H – Hedge. Hopefully Oregon football Coach Chip Kelly knows how to hedge a bet. The coach is in store to collect $4.3 million in bonuses if he can lead the Ducks to the National Championship Game (which puts Chizik’s bonus to shame.) All he would have to do is defeat in-state rival Oregon State on Saturday and the Ducks are headed to Glendale, Arizona, to play for all the marbles. If Kelly was wise he would wager a large amount of loot on Oregon State moneyline (+550). So in case the unthinkable happens and Oregon loses, Kelly will still have a date with the Rose Bowl and enough money to drink away the pain from losing a shot at a National Championship.
I – Italians. A pair of Italians are lighting up the hard court this season. Andrea Bargnani in Toronto, finally out of the shadow of Chris Bosh, and Danilo Gallinari in New York, are both enjoying career years. Bargnani is leading the Raptors with 20.5 points per game and Gallinari is averaging 15.5 points per game for the surprising Knicks, who find themselves at 10-9.
J – Johnson, Andre. The epic beat down of Tennessee Titan instigator Cortland Finnegan at the hands of Houston Texan wide receiver Andre Johnson resulted in no suspensions and just $25,000 fines for each player. The fines were curious for a number a reasons. For one, the fines were equal even though it was Johnson landing three haymakers with Finnegan being on the business-end of each one. And for another the fines were equal to what Steelers linebacker James Harrison received for a questionable hit on a quarterback. The lack of suspension also screams ‘conspiracy’ as the NFL happens to host Johnson and the Texans Thursday night when they travel to Philadelphia as 8.5-point underdogs. Without Johnson, sources say Houston would have been at a competitive disadvantage.
K – Kyle Brotzman. A couple missed field goals in an overtime-loss to Nevada led to Boise State losing millions of dollars, a potential shot at a National Championship and led kicker Kyle Brotzman to receive the almost-expected death threats. Brotzman missed two field goals that were barely further than extra points. Those led the then ranked No. 4 Broncos to lose in a stunning upset at Nevada as 14-point favorites. Now instead of a Rose Bowl trip or a shot at a National Championship, the Broncos are likely headed to the Humanitarian Bowl, which is played in their backyard.
L – Laughing. The Arizona Cardinals 27-6 loss to San Francisco was no laughing matter, except to quarterback Derek Anderson and lineman Deuce Lutui, who were seen exchanging a giggle while the Cardinals were getting their backsides handed to them by San Francisco. The laugh was not that big of a deal until Anderson was called on it in a post-game press conference. Anderson exploded when asked about it and he successfully landed himself in the post-game press conference tirade hall of fame with his outburst.
M – Monday Night Flex Schedule. Monday night’s snoozer between 3-7 San Francisco and 3-7 Arizona has ignited dialogue about incorporating flex scheduling into Monday night matchups. Currently NBC has a flex scheduling deal for its Sunday night games, but no such deal exists for Monday night games. A few more debacles like Monday night’s San Francisco 27-6 win might change that.
N – New Mexico State. After an 0-4 start by the New Mexico State football team, the Aggies campus was bombarded with flyers urging female students to refrain from having intercourse with members of the football team until they won a game. That very Saturday, New Mexico won their first game. Apparently the incentive of sex influenced the players, but the female student body should think about doing this every week because after the win in week five, New Mexico State lost six of its next seven.
O – Obama. Barack Obama recently landed on the Presidential Disabled List after catching an elbow during a pickup basketball game at Fort McNair. The elbow caught Obama right above the upper lip and required 12 stitches to close. The unidentified culprit better make sure his taxes are filed early this year.
P – Prince William. The Prince and Kate Middleton have decided on April 29, 2011 as their date, and sportsbooks wasted no time posting prop bets on the nuptials. The 28 year olds will be wed at Westminster Abbey. Almost everything else that has yet to be decided is up for wagering. The favorite for honeymoon location is Morocco (+400), you can even wager on the length of Middleton’s wedding dress, if a child will be bore in the first year of marriage (‘yes’ is +180), the color of her dress (hint: the favorite is not white, it is ivory at -175), if it will rain or not (unfortunately the ‘yes’ on the rain bet is -120), and lastly if Obama will attend (‘yes’ is +180).
Q – Qatar. The United States bid to host the 2022 World Cup fell short to Qatar in a bidding process that can only be described as bizarre. Qatar is a nation smaller than Connecticut and with fewer people than Houston, but it still earned 14 votes to earn the bid over the United States, Australia, Japan and South Korea. This will be the first World Cup contested in the Middle East and the first that will have to overcome temperatures expected to reach 130 degrees. The stunning Qatar announcement comes on the heels of the 2018 World Cup announcement that it will be played in Russia, another first-time host.
R – Rex Ryan. The brash outspoken overweight head coach of the New York Jets is also the one coach most NFL players would like to play for. In a recent player’s poll conducted by Sports Illustrated, Ryan received 21 percent of the vote when players were asked for which other would you like to play for. Mike Tomlin of the Pittsburgh Steelers was second with 12 percent. Sean Payton (nine percent), Jeff Fisher (eight percent) and Bill Belichick (seven percent), rounded out the top five.
S – Super Bowl. It is never too early to start looking ahead to the Super Bowl and never too early to post Super Bowl odds, either. Many agree that four of the top teams in the NFL reside in the AFC: the Jets, Patriots, Ravens and Steelers. Right now the AFC representative is favored to win Super Bowl XLV at Cowboys Stadium. The current futures line on Sportsbook.com is AFC -3.
T – Tosh Lupoi. Tosh Lupoi, no relation to comedian Tosh.0, was recently suspended after he finally admitted to instructing players to fake injuries during a 15-13 defeat against No. 1 Oregon. The strategy almost worked, but a late missed field goal doomed the Golden Bears as the upset bid fell short.
U – Uggs. As a match made in marketing hell, New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and Uggs, the Australian chick boots, have inked a deal to make Brady the new face of Uggs. In case any NFL fan, or American male for that matter, needed another reason to hate Brady, here it is.
V – Victoria Secrets. The Victoria Secret fashion show was the center of attention on Tuesday night and two days before that, Victoria Secrets model Lily Aldridge appeared on CBS’ NFL studio show to hype the event. What ensued was lowbrow humor with Dan Marino claiming to just be eyeing his notes, while Boomer Esiason accused Shannon Sharpe’s eyes of wandering around the studio.
W – Walmart. A Florida man was arrested this week after he was caught masturbating in the toy aisle of a Walmart with the aid of a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. The man, William Tyler Black, is now banned from future visits to any retailer where children’s toys are sold.
X – XXX stars. Porn stars and the NBA are the latest rage. Shyla Stylez (Twitter name SylaXXX) was recently spotted in the second row behind the New York Knicks bench. In case we needed confirmation that it was her, she tweeted immediately that it indeed was her. Another porn star, Sienna West, made an online video shortly before meeting current Toronto Raptor Peja Stojakovic, who just happens to be married. And lastly New Jersey Nets point guard Devin Harris has recently disclosed he is dating porn star Meghan Allen.
Y – Year Later. This time last year Tiger Woods was sleeping in his driveway barefoot moments after his then-wife shattered the back window of his car with a golf club. This year Tiger Woods recently tweeted that he finished a “tough cardio session…because of all the apple and pumpkin pie.” Last year certainly seemed more interesting.
Z – Zack Greinke. The Kansas City Royals ace now says he is open to going to New York. If the Yankees fail to land Cliff Lee, Greinke figures to be next on their Christmas Wish List. Many thought Greinke was blocking a proposed trade to New York and its massive market because of his anxiety attack issues, but now the 27-year rightie says he is open to the deal.