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This Week in Super Bowl Betting, A-Z
by Nicholas Tolomeo - 2/1/2013

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Super Bowl body paint

A – Alicia Keys. With the way squares are gobbling up Super Bowl prop bets, Alicia Keys will influence as many bets as Ray Lewis on Sunday night. Alicia Keys prop bets include, “Over/under” 2 minutes 10 seconds to sing the “National Anthem,” Will Alicia Keys be booed, Yes +500, Will Alicia Keys forget or omit a word from the anthem Yes +200, No -300, Will Alicia Keys add at least one new word to the anthem Yes +200, No -300.

B – Brothers. This year’s Super Bowl will be the first to feature two brothers as head coaches since Lovie Smith and Tony Dungy met in Super Bowl XLI.

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C – Chris Culliver. San Francisco 49ers cornerback Chris Culliver’s rant on gays made Super Bowl Media Day headlines. On a radio show with Artie Lang, Culliver was responding to a question about potentially have gay teammates. “I don’t do the gay guys, man. I don’t do that. No,” Culliver said. “We don’t got no gay people the team. You know, they gotta get up out of here if they do. Can’t be with that sweet stuff.” The follow question should have been, what the hell is “sweet stuff”?

D – Dan Marino. Dan Marino never won a Super Bowl, but he did father a love child with a former CBS production assistant in 2005. The New York Post reported that in 2005 Marino was plowing Donna Savattere, who at the time was a 35-year old working at CBS Sports’ Manhattan studio. Marino knocked Savattere up and then paid her millions, yes millions, as part of a confidentiality agreement that apparently wasn’t that confidential.

E – Election. More people watched last year’s Super Bowl than voted in the 2012 Presidential Election. God Bless America.

F – Fake Jerseys. The NFL continues to go out of its way to stick it to the fans. This season they seized a record $13.6 million worth of counterfeit NFL merchandise during a nationwide enforcement effort called, “Operation Red Zone.” Oh how clever. Most of the seized merchandise were replica jerseys bought from China for like $25, because not everyone can afford $100-plus jerseys for players that usually flame out of the league in five years.

G – Gatorade. The favorite for the Super Bowl prop “What color Gatorade will be dumped on winning coach” is not even Gatorade. The favorite is Clear at +180, and, since that is actually water and not some new clear Gatorade favor, you can technically argue to the sportsbook that you want your damn money back if you bet on a color and clear ends up hitting. Other options that actually are Gatorade are yellow (+200), orange (+350), red (+650), blue (+700) and green (+700). How blue and green have the same odds is beyond me. The only chance you’re going to see green Gatorade is after the normal colored Gatorade sits on the turf for a few minutes.

H – Handshake/Hug. In case you didn’t lose enough money during the Super Bowl, you can still lose money after the game, too. The over/under for the length of the Harbaugh brothers’ postgame handshake/hug/make out session opened at 7.5 seconds on Bovada. The line has since moved down to six seconds. There are no additional prop bets on whether or not a fist fight breaks out.

I – Initial play from scrimmage. In case you were looking to wager on the first play of the game (run vs. pass, over/under yardage, etc.), here are the first plays from the previous eight Super Bowls. Giants run for no gain vs. Patriots, Steelers pass for four yards vs. Packers, Saints run for two yards vs. Colts, Steelers run for two yards vs. Cardinals, Giants run for three yards vs. Patriots, Colts throw incomplete pass vs. Bears, Seahawks pass for seven yards vs. Steelers, Eagles throw incomplete pass vs. Patriots.

J – Jim Valvano. ESPN will kick off its latest series of “30 for 30” films with one commemorating the 30th anniversary of Jim Valvano’s 1983 NC State National Championship team. Another documentary will be made about the 1983 NFL Draft. Next up for ESPN it has to be the inventible “30 for 30, the Manti Te’o dead fake girlfriend hoax story”.

K – Kicking. The 49ers are a -135 favorite to receive the opening kickoff. Jim Harbaugh has a penchant for never deferring. The Ravens are listed at +105.

L – Longest Touchdowns. The all-time longest touchdown plays in Super Bowl history are as follows: 85 yards, Jake Delhomme, Panthers vs. Patriots 2003; 81 yards, Brett Favre, Packers vs. Patriots, 1996, 80 yards, Jim Plunkett, Raiders vs. Eagles, 1980; Doug Williams, 80 yards, Doug Williams, Redskins vs. Broncos, 1987; 80 yards, John Elway vs. Falcons, 1998. This year the over/under for longest touchdown in the Super Bowl is 46.5 yards.

M – Millions. Last Sunday, 42 million people in the US viewed the 49ers-Falcons NFC Championship Game, and 47.7 million viewed the Ravens-Patriots game. To put those numbers in perspective, 4.9 million viewed the deciding Game 6 of the 2012 Stanley Cup Finals.

N – NFL. The NFL announced that it expects to have neurologists on the sideline for the 2013 season. By the 2014 season there will likely be a neurologist roster spot on your fantasy team.

O – Obama. It looks like the nation’s first black President doesn’t think there will be a second black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. Sportsbooks have pegged Obama’s Super Bowl pick to likely be Baltimore. His odds of picking Baltimore to win are -190, while his odds of picking San Francisco are +145.

P – Pro Bowl. Sportsbooks are likely one demographic who would love to see Roger Goodell do away with the Pro Bowl. The public, who loves a good over in any kind of all-star game, was rolling around in some money on Sunday when the 2013 Pro Bowl cruised over the total of 80 no problem. Five of the last six Pro Bowls have gone over the total. Do I hear 100 next year?

Q – Quarterback. This year’s Super Bowl will be the first one in 10 years to not involve a quarterback named Brady, Manning, Roethlisberger or Gabbert.

R – Royal Rumble. If you thought oddsmakers were always on point when it came to professional sports, you should see the odds they lay out for professional wrestling. Sportsbook.ag and 5Dimes had odds posted on the WWE Royal Rumbles, and the favorites dominated. The Rock (-600) won, Albert Del Rio (-4500) won, Team Hell No (-210) won, and the one that makes it most obvious a story writer from WWE squealed to someone, John Cena at -410 versus the 29-man field, won the actual Royal Rumble itself.

S – SuperBaugh/HarBowl. The most intriguing brother versus brother storyline is how will history remember this game? Will it be the SuperBaugh or the HarBowl? Only time will tell.

T – Tweet. Is your dream to someday play in the Super Bowl? Well, thanks to Super Bowl prop bets you can sort of influence a Super Bowl prop bet. Bovada has posted a total on the highest tweet per second rate during the Super Bowl, with the total listed at 17,000 tweets per second. You can help the over hit by tweeting like a mad man instead of watching the game. A number like 17,000 tweets per second seems like a lot; to hit the over you’ll likely need a Beyonce nip slip, an off-color joke about Lance Armstrong by the announcer, a streaker, or a camera shot of Manti Te’o’s girlfriend.

U – Under. A lot of under money has moved one of the most popular Super Bowl prop bets down significantly. After opening at 2 minutes and 15 seconds, the total for the “National Anthem,” sung by Alicia Keys, is now at 2 minutes and 10 seconds at most sportsbooks. This is another great example of a way to lose money before the game even starts.

V – Vonta Leach. One of the more popular longshot Super Bowl props is taking Baltimore Ravens fullback Vonta Leach at 28/1 to score the first touchdown of the game, and I have no idea why. Leach weighs 260 pounds. He has two touchdowns this season, and they were his first since 2008. He only has four career touchdowns during his 11-year career. On top of that he hauled the rock a total of 11 times this entire season. 

W – Wrestling. A 77-year old New York liquor store owner was shot in the eye during a robbery this week. On a local news interview, the man, Tom Dotterer, said that wasn’t even the worst part of his week. Somehow what happened at the predetermined outcome of the WWE Royal Rumble was worse than getting robbed and shot in the eye. Dotterer said of the Rumble, “That’s the worst thing that happened to me all week, the Rock beat Punk. Did you know that?” Either Dotterer is the world’s biggest wrestling fan, or he unloaded on CM Punk at +400 on 5Dimes to win the match.

X – XLVIII. Already bored of this Super Bowl? No problem, simply bet on Super Bowl XLVIII. The Patriots are the favorite at 6/1 followed by San Francisco (8/1), Denver (8/1) and Houston (10/1).

Y – Yardage. There are a ton of sucker bets out there when it comes to the Super Bowl, but anything involving Colin Kaepernick’s running ability has sucker bet written all over it. Everyone remembers Kaepernick’s insane 181-yard rushing performance against the Packers in the playoffs. Here are his other rushing totals this year in games he started: 10 vs. Chicago, 27 vs. New Orleans, 84 vs. St. Louis, 53 vs. Miami, 28 vs. New England, 31 vs. Seattle, 5 vs. Arizona, 21 vs. Atlanta. That would put his rushing average in all games excluding Green Bay at 32 yards per game. And since he is playing against the best defense he will face all season, the total should be somewhere below that right? His rushing yardage over/under in the Super Bowl is 50.5.

Z – Zero. If you know a way to somehow fix a Super Bowl square pool and can predetermine what numbers you get, based on Super Bowl history, go with a zero. The most frequent winners for all quarters are 0, 7 and 3 in that order. A 0-0 combination is actually the best you can hope for when looking at all quarters. If you are hoping to win the big enchilada, end of game pot, go with 4-7 or 0-7. And, for the love of God, avoid anything with an 8. If you get an 8 you are basically banking on a one-point safety at some point in the game. Other shitty numbers are 1, 2 and 5.

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