A - American Airlines Arena. One of the hottest tickets in the country is a courtside seat at American Airlines Arena, the home of the Miami Heat. For last week's game against the Orlando Magic somebody paid $25,884 for a pair of courtside tickets. Compare that to last season when the most expensive Miami ticket fetched $2,250 for a game against the Lakers.
B - Ben RoethlisCock-Burger. Sportscenter anchor Chris McKendry provided us with possibly the sound bite of the year when she "accidentally" referred to Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger as Ben RoethlisCock on live air. She quickly added a burger to the ending of it, making it sound even funnier. It officially sounded like Ben RoethlisCock-Burger, possibly a new nickname for the quarterback who has a thing for hanging out in the ladies bathroom at college bars.
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C - Cardiovascular Endurance. Redskins coach Mike Shanahan reintroduced the term to the media on Monday in describing why he benched quarterback Donovan McNabb in favor for Rex Grossman to run a two-minute drill in the waning moments of an eventual loss at Detroit. He basically said McNabb was out of shape. Apparently he was so out of shape that somebody in the Washington front office thought of trying out 286-pound, training-room stranger, first-round bust, Purple Drank drinking, JaMarcus Russell.
D - DJ Steve Porter. The Amherst, Massachusetts, based DJ has done it again with a sound-bite remix, this one courtesy of the king of idiotic sound bites, Randy Moss. Porter's latest remix, named "One Clap Rap" got so popular it actually aired on ESPN's NFL Sunday Countdown.
E - Elijah Dukes. The former third-round draft pick and former Tampa Bay Ray and Washington National is also formerly a free man too. Dukes was arrested after failing to pay child support to two women. The 26 year old is being held in Hillsborough County jail. Dukes owes one woman over $40,000, and after recently being cut by the Nationals and now playing for the Newark Bears of the Canadian American Association of Professional Baseball, that money will be even harder to raise.
F - Fines. Big hits and subsequent fines continue to be a huge issue in the NFL and the latest offender, Eagles linebacker Ernie Sims, was tagged with a $50,000 fine for striking a defenseless receiver (Lavelle Hawkins) in Philadelphia's loss at Tennessee two weeks ago. What ended up costing Sims were his two unnecessary roughness fines from 2008 and 2009 when he was a Lion. It was the largest fine handed down since the NFL stepped up enforcement three weeks ago.
G - Guinness World Records. A record was shattered during Week 8 of the NFL and it was so significant that an adjudicator from Guinness World Records was on hand to document the feat. When the Pittsburgh Steelers and New Orleans Saints collided on Sunday Night Football, in New Orleans on Halloween night, somebody figured the world's biggest Halloween party would erupt, and they were right. Shattering the previous record of 508 costumed people, Guinness determined that at least 17,777 fans were present and in costume. In reality it was closer to 60,000, including Steelers fans dressed as construction workers and Snookie from MTV's the “Jersey Shore”. Another record of beer consumption was also likely broken, but that was a little harder to gauge.
H - Huff and Puff. On election night a referendum to legalize marijuana was shot down, but that did stop hysterical San Francisco Giants fans from celebrating in the streets of San Francisco with joints in the air. One clever San Francisco fan held up a sign exclaiming "Huff and Puff!" in reference to San Francisco first basemen Aubrey Huff and ace pitcher Tim Lincecum, who is somewhat of a cannabis aficionado. In the immediate aftermath of the Giants World Series win Lincecum said he hoped to see "a lot of beer flowing and smoke in the air."
I - Ines Sainz. Thanks to Top Rank Boxing, the Mexican sideline vixen, Ines Sainz, will be back front and center again when she helps with the coverage of the Manny Pacquiao and Antonio Margarito bout. Thanks to her skintight attire she wears while acting professionally in covering professional sports and the sexual harassment she received at the hands of the New York Jets, Sainz is a household name.
J - Jeremiah Masoli. The Ole Miss season and Houston Nutt's job were hitched to the back of the former Oregon quarterback, who arrived in Oxford, Mississippi by a loophole in the NCAA rulebook that is essentially football free agency. After being kicked off the Oregon team, Masoli came to town when the Rebels were desperate for a quarterback. Five games into the SEC schedule, Masoli and the Rebels are 1-4 in the SEC with horrific losses at home to Vanderbilt and Jacksonville State. Oh yeah, and Masoli's last team is doing just fine without him. The Ducks appear to be on a collision course with the BCS National Championship Game.
K - Kye Allums. The first transgender basketball player was not in fact Baylor's Brittney Griner, she has apparently been a female her whole life. The first transgender basketball player, Kye Allums, will make his/her(?) debut for the George Washington University women's basketball this season. Allums, a junior, is permitted to play on the women's team because he has not taken male hormones yet and he doesn’t plan to have surgery until after college. Kye's former name was Kay Kay, but he began his transformation to a man last year when he was a sophomore.
L - Lee, Cliff. The unfortunate discussion of an MLB Hot Stove has already begun, and it all centers around one man, Cliff Lee. He reached the World Series and came up short for a second consecutive year. He says he wants to stay in Texas. However, after losing to him in the ALDS, the Yankees are likely to get in on the bidding and we all know how that ends.
M - Michstaken Identity. A Penn State fan thought it would be a good idea to dress up like a Michigan fan for Halloween. The only problem was Penn State happened to be playing Michigan the night before Halloween in Happy Valley so the Michigan fan costume stood out quite nice set against the backdrop of 100,000 Penn State fans dressed in all white. The fan was attacked by four Penn State fans. The costumed man sustained a broken nose.
N - Nacogdoches. The high school with the funnest name to say also put on one heck of an entertaining game this past week. Deep in the heart of Texas, Nacogdoches and Jacksonville were tied 28-28 at the end of regulation. The final score was Jacksonville 84-81. This fray lasted 5 1/2 hours and after it was all said and done Nacogdoches was eliminated from the playoffs.
O - Octopus. The late great World Cup prognosticating mollusk, Paul the Octopus, is dead and in his place at Sea Life aquarium in Oberhausen, Germany is Paul the II, a five-month-old octopus from southern France that weights over 10 ounces. It is yet to be determined if the new Octopus is able to pick soccer winners like his predecessor, but there is already plenty of fishy business going on. Paul the I apparently passed away a week ago, but a Chinese filmmaker who is actually developing a film entitled (and we are not making this up) 'Who Killed Paul The Octopus?’ has raised speculation that Paul in fact died in July (or she says she was 60-70 percent sure). The time of death is critical because the filmmaker’s timetable would mean that an imposter octopus stepped in and predicted the World Cup Final. Once again, I repeat we are not making this up.
P - Politics. A couple former athletes took center stage on Election night with mixed results. Former NBA centers Shawn Bradley (running for Utah House of Representatives) and Chris Dudley (running for Governor of Oregon) fell short in their bids while the worst bust in NFL history Heath Shuler (running for U.S. House of Representatives in North Carolina) and former NFL lineman Jon Runyan (running for U.S. House of Representative in New Jersey) were elected.
Q - Quarterback Cut. The problems for winless New Mexico (0-8) were compounded when starting quarterback Brad Gruner was ruled out for Saturday's game against Colorado State after Gruner had a mishap while carving a pumpkin. While his football team has been frightening to watch, Gruner was trying to get in on the Halloween spirit when he cut the pinkie finger on his throwing hand while carving. The Lobos are 9.5-point underdogs at home against Wyoming (2-7).
R - ReLeaf Herbal Center. As much as San Francisco-based stoners loved the World Series promotion last year when Taco Bell offered America a free taco if anybody stole a base in the World Series, we have a feeling they liked this one even more. For every San Francisco home run during the World Series, ReLeaf Herbal Center in San Francisco offered all Giants fans present at the pot shop one free joint.
S - Shawne Merriman. The one-time NFL Defensive Player of the Year is making a move from San Diego to Buffalo. Nevermind the fact he is going from AFC contenders in San Diego to winless Buffalo, but also he is headed from one of the best climates in America to frigid Buffalo. The Bills need all the help they can get, but I am not sure how Merriman figures into turning this franchise around.
T - Toilet Bowl. Not too be confused with this week's tussle between 2-7 Wyoming and 0-8 New Mexico, but Clorox Toilet Products and current ESPN college football analyst and former "Bachelor" and Florida Gator quarterback Jesse Palmer have teamed up to form a match made in bathroom heaven. Starting this January, Clorox and Palmer will team up to encourage fans to enter to win a chance to compete in the first annual Toilet Bowl, where none other than Palmer will be all-time quarterback. The Web site to enter is cleverly enough named OdetotheCommode.
U - UCF. The Big East Conference has agreed to add two football teams to its beleaguered eight-team conference. The early front-runner to fill one of those spots is UCF. People may be scratching their heads, but they shouldn’t be. Nobody seems to realize this, but UCF is the third biggest campus in terms of student enrollment in the country. They have 53,000+ students! Only Arizona State and Ohio State have more and UCF is in the recruiting hotbed of Florida, in a major market (Orlando) and a natural rival for South Florida, who has to feel lonely as the southern most Big East team by some 1,000 miles.
V - Villanueva, Charlie. The Detroit forward levied a pretty harsh claim against Boston Celtic forward Kevin Garnett. Villanueva, who suffers from a rare disorder that results in hair loss, claims Garnett called him a cancer patient during Boston's 109-86 win last week. He brought this claim forward how everyone else does it nowadays, through Twitterverse. He went on basically challenging Garnett to a fight in his tweet. KG denies the allegations.
W- Waiver Wire. The Houston Oilers had a chance to draft Randy Moss 12 years ago in the 1998 NFL draft. They, like most teams that year, passed on Moss because of the bad rap he had coming out of college. Now after being jettisoned from two NFL teams in one month because of his attitude, the current version of the Oilers, the Tennessee Titans, have agreed to claim him off waivers. The Titans were 22nd in line on the waiver list based on their record, but after 21 teams said ‘no thanks,’ Tennessee jumped at the chance to acquire Moss. Tennessee better get their catering situation in order.
X - Xavier. A year ago Xavier had to deal with the loss of coach Sean Miller. It didn’t matter as the Musketeers won their fourth consecutive A-10 Championship last season. Now they have to deal with the loss of first-round NBA Draft pick Jordan Crawford and Jason Love. Even with four straight conference titles, Xavier is not expected to repeat this season. They are not ranked in the AP preseason Top 25, and they are not even expected to defend their crown as Temple was picked by A-10 coaches to win the conference.
Y - Yaroslav Popovych. The hunt to persecute Lance Armstrong continues. On Wednesday Armstrong's teammate, Yaroslav Popovych, testified in front of a federal grand jury who was investigating doping in sports. Despite testifying for two hours, Popovych's attorney claimed he knew nothing of the investigation.
Z- Zygi Wilf. Everyone has chimed in on the Randy Moss in Minnesota Train Wreck except Vikings owner Zygi Wilf. The man who backed the acquisition of Moss from New England and who signed off on bumping team payroll by almost $5 million has yet to speak a word on the ill-fated move that could very well doom the Minnesota season.