This Week in Sports Betting, A-Z
by Nicholas Tolomeo - 11/29/2012
A – Autographs. After Denver's win at Kansas City on Sunday, Peyton Manning was asked for autographs and photo-ops – by two Kansas City Chiefs! And these weren’t just a couple clipboard holders asking Manning for some souvenirs, these were Jamaal Charles and Dwayne Bowe, the only two Chiefs worth a damn in fantasy football.
B – BCS. The BCS National Championship race is down to three teams, and Alabama remains the favorite despite still having to play in the SEC Championship Game. The Crimson Tide are listed at 4/7 on Bovada ahead of Notre Dame (2/1) and Georgia (9/2).
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C – Championship Week. Ahh Championship Week, nothing like one colossal blockbuster surrounded by four other championship shit fests. If you had $295 you could either buy the cheapest ticket to the SEC Championship Game on Stubhub or you could buy the cheapest ticket to the Pac-12 ($69), Big Ten ($17), ACC ($4) and MAC ($3) Championship Games and have $201 leftover.
D- Defense. The total in this Saturday’s Baylor/Oklahoma State game is 87, believed to be the highest football total of all time.
E – ESPN. The worldwide leader has given us another reason to steer clear of their network, by announcing that First Take's reign of terror is expanding to six days a week with a show on Saturday. Blowhard Rob Parker somehow landed the hosting gig of the televised shouting match.
F– Fighting Irish. Notre Dame is the unanimous No. 1 team in the country, but if they played in the SEC they would likely be in sixth place, well at least according to the oddsmakers who have shown repeatedly they know more than the pollsters. According to Bovada, Notre Dame on a neutral field would be an underdog against Alabama (-9.5), Texas A&M (-3.5), LSU (-3), Georgia (-3) and Florida (-1.5).
G – Grey Cup. The whole world is barely done talking about the 2012 Grey Cup, and already Bovada has posted odds on the 2013 CFL season. The B.C. Lions are the favorites at 7/2 ahead of the Calgary Stampeders (9/2). The reigning 2012 Grey Cup champs, the Toronto Argonauts, are not being shown much respect with odds at 5/1.
H – Honey Boo Boo. Honey Boo Boo has hit the big time. The six-year old reality star has been immortalized with a blowup head that is popping up at numerous collegiate sporting events, including the recent Indiana/North Carolina hoops showdown.
I – Iron Bowl. Some genius jewelry store owner in Alabama decided to offer a promotion the week leading up the Iron Bowl between Alabama/Auburn. The promotion would give a full refund to all customers if either team was shut out. And the customers would get to keep their jewelry. Over 300 wise souls took advantage of this, and, of course, the Alabama defense, ranked No. 1 in the country and already with three shutouts, shut out 3-8 Auburn 49-0 and probably shut down this clown's store.
J – Johnny Manziel. Freshman Johnny Manziel is the favorite to win the Heisman Trophy award this year. He is listed at –1200 on 5Dimes with the “field” listed at +600. Other contenders include Manti Te'o (+475), Collin Klein (+800), Braxton Miller (+5000) and Marquis Lee (+6600).
K – Kansas City. There were two winning tickets to the Wednesday night record-breaking Powerball jackpot of $587.5 million. The tickets were sold in Arizona and in Missouri. The Missouri ticket was reportedly sold in the Kansas City area, so that gives one lucky Kansas City resident as many wins this year as the hometown Chiefs.
L – Louisiana. Louisiana has five Division I-A football-playing schools. Thanks to the non-stop conference clusterfuck, those five schools, Louisiana Tech, Louisiana-Lafayette, Louisiana-Monroe, LSU and Tulane will all soon have conference "rivals" spread throughout 28 states ranging from Rhode Island to California to Florida to Idaho.
M – Mack Brown. That Mack Brown sure has an eye for talent. The Texas Longhorns coach likely passed up on the past two Heisman Trophy winners. Texas offered Robert Griffin III a scholarship as an athlete but really didn’t recruit him. Now news comes out that Texas recruited Texas A&M quarterback and likely Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel – as a defensive back. And they never even offered him a scholarship as a defensive back.
N – Norv Turner. With the game on the line, Ray Rice converted a fourth-and-29 on Sunday to keep Baltimore alive in a crucial game at San Diego, and the Ravens went on to win the game in overtime. But let’s be honest, that play was less about Rice converting the first down and more about Norv Turner allowing that first down.
O – Oregon State. Oregon State apparently had no intentions of reaching the Pac-12 Championship Game. The Beavers rescheduled a postponed season opener with Division I-AA Nicholls State on Saturday, the same weekend as the Pac-12 Championship Game. Oregon State will try to avoid a letdown after playing in the Civil War last week. That shouldn’t be a problem as the Beavers are 52.5-point favorites.
P – Pirates. The Pittsburgh Pirates are gearing up for another run at 100 losses this season. On Wednesday they acquired pitcher Vin Mazzaro and first baseman Clint Robinson from the Kansas City Royals. Mazzaro had a solid 5.73 ERA last season with the Royals while Robinson only took four at bats in the majors last year and obviously didn’t get any hits while striking out twice.
Q – Quarterback decision. The San Francisco 49ers will start Colin Kaepernick at quarterback on Sunday against the Rams. ESPN conducted a Sports Nation poll this week asking of the 49ers made the right choice. Of the 100,000-plus votes, 68 percent said yes they made the right decision. Every state in the US except one sided with the 49ers, the one who didn’t – Nevada. Kaepernick played quarterback at Nevada. Think they know something we don’t?
R – Ramp workers. According to tweets from the New Orleans Saints, their team bus was egged after touching down in A-Town, by ramp workers at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport. Saints backup quarterback Chase Daniels tweeted, “Wow, we start getting eggs thrown at us by airport workers!” Apparently the workers had better throwing accuracy than Daniels.
S – Sun Life Stadium. The stadium with a million names is playing host to the 2013 BCS National Championship game on Jan. 7. The matchup is not even determined yet, but you can already wager on it at 5Dimes. Alabama –10.5 vs. Notre Dame is available as is Georgia –3.5 vs. Notre Dame.
T – Tulsa. Tulsa athletic director Ross Parmley admitted to the FBI that he wagered on college and professional football with a local bookie. The school has put him on administrative leave. Hopefully Parmley (which kind of sounds like parlay) was betting on his own school; Tulsa is 21-13 against the number over the last three seasons.
U – Upside down. A sad looking Eagles fan was photographed at the Eagles “Monday Night Football” debacle against the Panthers wearing a Jeremy Maclin jersey. In typical Philadelphia fandom nature, the Maclin was printed upside down on the otherwise normal jersey. Perhaps this was a mistake made by Nike, or perhaps the fan was planning ahead for when he himself would end up upside down after inevitably taking a drunken header over the seat in front of him.
V – VCU. VCU women’s volleyball coach James Finley was fired on Nov. 19 despite a 25-6 record the previous season. Finley says he was fired because he was openly gay. Considering the coochie-cutter spandex shorts these collegiate women’s volleyball players wear during practices and games, maybe it’s a good thing to have a gay male coach.
W – WAC. When it comes to basketball, the WAC is “whack,” or in other words what the Big East is to football the WAC is to basketball. To replace the University of Denver, the WAC is reaching out to something called Grand Canyon University. Hopefully they play games in the Grand Canyon, because that would be kind of cool. To keep its automatic qualifying berth in the NCAA Tournament, the WAC has to find another team. Maybe Hoover Dam College or Yellowstone National Park University are available.
X – XLVII. The Houston Texans have company atop the Super Bowl XLVII odds board. Bovada has Houston and New England as co-favorites at 9/2 just ahead of San Francisco (5/1) and its quarterback quandary. There are odds available for every team except the Kansas City Chiefs.
Y – Yankees. The Yankees continue throwing money at old people. A week after signing 37-year-old Hiroki Kuroda, New York re-upped formerly retired Andy Pettitte for $12 million. The deal for the 40-year-old hurler includes award bonuses plus social security.
Z – Zeigler, Trey. Pitt basketball player Trey Zeigler has a great name for a long-distance shooter. But what got Zeigler in the news was his driving, and not to the basket. The 21-year old Zeigler picked up a DUI recently in Pittsburgh in classic fashion. Pittsburgh police found the kid passed out behind the wheel of his Hummer at a major intersection on Pitt's campus. Even though it was after 3 a.m. in the morning, he still somehow blew a 0.129 when cops finally got to him.