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It's incredible to see the number of Super Bowl prop bets that are being offered by books this year. You can bet on almost everything from the relevant and interesting to the truly ridiculous. As hard as it is to believe, though, there are quite a few bets that I was looking to make that I couldn't find anyone offering action on. Here, then, are the 25 bets I wish I could make, with my chosen side in brackets. If anyone wants a piece of any of them just drop me a line.

Percentage of ads that will leave me with a sense of general disappointment (over)

Percentage of the game that will leave me with a sense of general disappointment (over)

Number of times that Joe Buck says something mind-numbingly obvious (way over)

Number of times Troy Aikman will not so subtly suggest that he is a better quarterback than Tom Brady will ever be (over)

Blood alcohol level of Tom Petty when he takes the stage (so far over that most human beings would be dead)

Number of times I will get frustrated by something someone I am watching the game with says (over)

Chances that I will throw something at that person (over)

Length of time my wife won't talk to me after I throw something at one of our guests (over)

Number of times I say to myself during the game 'okay, just one more Dorito'. (over)

Times we will hear about Randy Moss' troubled past, and his rebirth after the Pats took a chance on him (over)

Times I almost throw up my Doritos after hearing about Moss (over)

What will we hear more - Plaxico Burress is tall, or Wes Welker is small? (Welker - and I'll parlay it with 'Brandon Jacobs is a bull')

Color of Tom Coughlin's face by halftime (some shade of purple)

Chances that Bill Belichick looks like a homeless man on the sidelines (over - this is a stone cold lock)

Over/under on the number of presidential candidates in the crowd (most of the ones that didn't drop out this week)

Number of those candidates that could have named the teams playing in the game before they entered the stadium (all of them)

Number of stars of Fox shows that just happen to be sitting in the crowd watching the game (does Fox have stars?)

Number of American Idol plugs in the first half (I'd confidently take the over regardless of what the number was)

Number of times the words Brady and Hall-of-fame will be used in the same sentence (I'll take the over)

Number of times the words Strahan and orthodontist will be used in the same sentence (definitely the under)

Point in the game at which I will first look at my watch and wonder why it feels like the game has been going on for three days (first quarter)

Number of times the words maturity and Eli will be used in the same sentence (over)

Number of times during the game I will mumble the phrase 'I hate the Mannings' (way over)

Amount I will have to spend on therapy if another Manning wins a Super Bowl (way, way over - and I doubt my insurance will cover it)

Amount of time it will take, if the Giants win, for Tiki Barber to run on to the field, grab the Lombardi Trophy, and claim that he is the only reason they won (under)