Ferringo's Hot List/Cold List
by Robert Ferringo - 04/13/2007
Remember Beckett's Baseball Card Price Guide? I say remember like they don't exist anymore. They do, but I haven't seen a new one since I was about 14 and realized it was more fun to go up a girl's shirt than to sit on my bed checking out if Mariano Duncan's rookie card was worth more than 25 cents.
Anyways, what I remember most from those Beckett's was the Hot/Cold Lists. They ranked the cards by whose value was rising or falling each month. It was classic, and there was always that one guy who made both lists. Like, Will Clark would be No. 4 on the Hot List and No. 9 on the Cold List.
Well, it's been a while, but I've come back with another Hot/Cold List. I'm still going to try to work this into my regular rotation for your reading pleasure. Only this time I'll really try! So without further ado, here's Doc's Sports' Hot/Cold List:
THE COLD LIST:
10) Milwaukee Bucks - They've gone 1-9 straight-up and 2-8 against the spread over the past two weeks. In fact, I think the Indians are more popular in Beer Town right now. However, the Bucks have become a dark horse in the Oden-Durant Sweepstakes…
9) Sanjaya Malakar - I don't think I need to explain this one. But I will say that if you go to diesanjayadie.com that you'll see a sweet picture of Sanjaya's sister in a Hooters outfit.
8) Shaun King - The Las Vegas Gladiators released the former Tampa Bay quarterback after a 1-5 SU and 2-4 ATS start. That same day futures on the Dow Jones Industrial dropped. I like to think the events are unrelated.
7. Philadelphia Phillies - It's kind of OK for Washington to start out 2-7 because they suck and no one expected them to be good. But Philadelphia was (once again) everyone's "sleeper pick" in the National League East and thus far they've been the worst bet (-530) in baseball.
6) Mother Nature - As I detailed earlier in the week, her loathing for all things Spring has wreaked havoc on the early season schedule and may have ensured Major League Baseball's first tripleheader. If not, I have no idea how Seattle is going to make up a four-game series with Cleveland.
5) Houston Nutt - A lunatic Arkansas fan actually used the Freedom of Information Act to gain access to Nutt's cell phone records. Among the juicier tidbits to come out were his text messages to a female reporter just minutes before the Capital One Bowl and his "courtship" with Miami and its head coaching vacancy.
4. Oakland Raiders - The worst team in the NFL in 2006 gets rewarded with the league's toughest schedule in 2007. Who ever thought Raider fans would pine for the Jay Schroeder Era?
3) ESPN - As far as I'm concerned the Worldwide Wieners are always on the cold list. The reason this week has to do with their shoddy fantasy site, which apparently crashed due to a system error and wiped out either the first week of stats or certain leagues altogether. This isn't the first time that an ESPN fantasy league has crashed and won't be the last for the second-rate site. But this is par for the course - right down there in poor, low-budget quality that we've come to expect from anything with ESPN's name on it. Like their X-Games bike, online hunting games and Doug Banks.
2) Los Angeles Lakers - Losers of six out of their past nine games, the Lake Show is in serious danger of choking its way out of the playoffs. And to make matters worse, forward Luke Walton was (tenuously) linked to Britney Spears this week as a potential lover. Tough times all around.
1) Don Imus - This one is self-explanatory. I'm still surprised that of all the racist, anti-Semitic, puppy-hating vitriol that Imus has spewed over the years that this is the thing that gets him canned. Oh, and Jason Whitlock has an excellent commentary on the whole subject at the K.C. Star.
THE HOT LIST:
10) New York Rangers - They've won nine of their last 12 and have banked nearly $5K for dime bettors over that span. They get bonus points for shocking Atlanta in the organization's first-ever playoff game - though I don't know how much of Atlanta even knows they have a hockey team in the postseason.
9) Doc's Sports Services - Is this a shameless plug? Yes. Is it an attempt to curry favor with my employers? Probably. But look, between our five cappers we've already netted around $100K in profits and we're not even two weeks into the MLB season. You gotta admit you're impressed.
8) A-Rod - I mean, it's April. And when he goes 2-for-25 down the stretch in September right before the Yankees miss the playoffs, then voids his contract and skips town, forcing George Steinbrenner to immediately spend $30 million to bring back Boomer Wells, Joe Girardi and Rock Raines no one is going to remember this torrid stretch to start the year. But we'll let him have his moment.
7) Arizona Diamondbacks - The D-Backs managed a six-game winning streak and have been one of the most profitable bets in all of baseball. They've almost made people forget about that whole Wally Backman Thing. Almost.
6) Sanjaya Malakar - What can we say: he's a phenom. Perhaps the most ill-deserving "celebrity" since Jared from Subway, Malakar continues to make a mockery of American Idol and everything it stands for. And I love it!!! The odds are 6.5-to-1 that he wins and 1-to-3 that Simon stabs him in the heart with one of Paula's accessories before the finals.
5) Barney Frank - Gambling911 reported that Senator Frank would "start pushing to lift a U.S. ban on online gambling in the next few weeks." Is he just saying that to make my nipples hard? Probably. Is he another full-of-Shiite politician? Probably. But is this a great step in the right direction for America and Freedom? Definitely.
4) The NHL Playoffs - Yeah, they actually still hold these every year. Who knew? Well, sports fans across the country are starting to realize that while they may not miss hockey, per se, they certainly miss hockey highlights, four-overtime playoff games, hat tricks, fat, drunken Canadians and Jaromir Jagr.
3) Denver Nuggets - They ripped off seven straight wins and haven't lost in April. That drip-drip-drip that you hear is the urine trickling down San Antonio's leg.
2) Felix Hernandez - It's always enjoyable to see Red Sox fans humiliated and left speechless. But it's really fun when it's courtesy of a near no-hitter dealt by a guy who was a nearly 2-to-1 underdog that you're backing.
1) Angry Mobs - First, the Morale Majority got Pac Man Jones banned for an entire year from the NFL. The move came mainly because enough bobbleheads on "Around the Horn" or whiny local radio deejays bitched about it. The move has also submarined any hope of Tennessee in the playoffs next year. I mean, Leonard Little received just a half-season suspension for getting plastered, driving drunk and killing an innocent woman. Pac Man gets a full season for, um, what exactly did he do again?
Next, amazing racist hypocrites like Stephen A. Smith and Al Sharpton managed to lead the charge to get Don Imus fired. Listen, I think Imus is a prick and am not defending him. I could care less if he's on the air or not because I don't listen to such drivel. But for guys like Sharpton and Smith - two guys who have done more to perpetuate racial stereotyping and intolerance over the years than to appease it - to crawl up on the cross and/or lead the charge to get Imus fired is absolutely hypocritical and ludicrous.
But hey, Mob Rule won out this week, thus making it No. 1on the Hot List. Congrats!
Questions or comments for Robert? E-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org or check out his Insider Page here.